The Power of Gratitude: How a Simple Bedtime Practice Helped Heal Me and My Daughter

There was a season when everything in our home felt heavy. My daughter and I were caught in cycles of sadness during my divorce while I was pregnant with our son. Bedtime often brought the deepest aches—lonely thoughts, big questions, little hearts unsure of where to land.

So we started something simple.

Every night, we’d lie beside each other and ask:
✨ What was good today?
✨ What are we grateful for today?

Some nights, the answers were small—a favorite snack, the sound of rain. Some nights, we held the silence. This wasn’t about fixing. It was about noticing.

Gratitude is a conscious decision.
A quiet, brave choice to look for what’s still good, even when so much feels hard. It’s not always easy. But each time we practice, we remind our nervous systems that safety is still here. Still beauty. Still breath.

And over time, those little moments became lanterns in the dark.

Why Gratitude Matters

Gratitude doesn’t erase pain—but it gives us space to hold beauty beside the hard.

Scientific research supports what many of us already feel in our bodies: even small, consistent gratitude practices can ease symptoms of anxiety, improve sleep, and regulate how we process stress. Studies have shown that gratitude activates brain regions associated with emotional regulation and positive mood. When practiced with children, it can build empathy, increase resilience, and nurture a stronger sense of connection and well-being.

But perhaps the most profound truth is this:
You don’t need data to feel the shift.
You’ll feel it in your breath.
In your body.
In the way you notice more light than you did the day before.

A Garden of Gratitude: A Practice to Try

Think of gratitude as tending a small garden.
It doesn’t need to be perfect, performative, or even daily.
It just needs your presence.

Here are a few gentle ways to begin:

🌾 Sensory Anchor – What felt warm, soft, or beautiful today?
✨ Tiny Triumph – What did you do today that was brave, even if no one noticed?
🌙 Nighttime Naming – Before sleep, name three good things—no matter how small.

There’s no pressure to get it right. Some days the soil feels dry. That’s okay. Gratitude grows in seasons, not on a schedule.

This practice was only one piece of a larger healing process. Alongside therapy, community, rest, and other supports, this nightly pause became a steady anchor. A small, sacred rhythm that helped me and my daughter remember what was still whole, still beautiful, still present.

Reflection & Invitation

What small moment today whispered comfort?

What might your body, mind, or nervous system be quietly grateful for?

You are not broken. You’re just overwhelmed.
Gratitude isn’t a fix—it’s a soft way home. A remembering of the light still inside you.

If you’d like a gentle companion for your own gratitude practice, A Garden of Gratitude is the journal I created from these lived experiences. Originally published in 2012, this second edition has been lovingly expanded and updated to reflect what I’ve learned over the past decade. Inside, you’ll find 90 days of prompts, quiet space to reflect, and grounding rituals to support your journey—whether you’re just beginning or finding your way back.

A Loving Reminder:

This reflection is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you're experiencing thoughts of self-harm or severe distress, please reach out to a licensed provider or crisis support line. You are worthy of care—always.

With soil-stained hands and a full heart,
Kate 🌸