When Transitions Are Hard: Why Summer Can Be So Tough on Regulation
Summer is supposed to feel like a break, but for many neurodivergent children and their families, it's anything but relaxing.
School-year routines disappear. Bedtimes drift. Vacations throw familiar rhythms into chaos. Even small transitions—such as leaving the house, ending screen time, or heading to a cookout—can trigger full-blown meltdowns.
If you've found yourself whispering, "This was supposed to be fun…" while your child screams in the car, you're not alone.
💥 Why Transitions Can Trigger Meltdowns
Transitions represent a loss of control, a shift in predictability, and for some kids, a direct threat to their sense of safety. Even positive change can be overwhelming when you don't yet have the internal tools to manage the unknown.
Kids who struggle with:
Sensory sensitivity
Social anxiety
Communication challenges
Executive function difficulties
... are especially vulnerable during times of transition.
And summer? It's a giant, unstructured, never-the-same-two-days-in-a-row transition.
🔁 You Can't Use Tools You Can't Access
Even when we use timers or countdowns, they may not be enough for kids whose nervous systems are already flooded.
Before a child can self-regulate, they must feel safe.
Before they can feel safe, they must trust that their needs will be seen and supported.
🧺 Testing Tools for Transitions: The Little Dragon Cool-Down Kit
We're currently developing a flexible Cool-Down Kit as part of our Little Dragon series—designed to support children during moments of overwhelm, especially during transitions.
The toolkit is in development, and we're testing elements like:
Visuals to communicate "I feel" / "I need"
Dragon-themed breathing exercises
Sensory-friendly routine cards
Calming choice boards
Co-regulation scripts for caregivers
This is not a one-size-fits-all solution—it's a customizable set of supports to help kids feel safe and seen, whether at home, on vacation, or anywhere in between. Some of these items are available in my FREE RESOURCE LIBRARY
🎒 What Else to Pack for Regulation on the Go
Alongside visual supports, here are real-world items I recommend bringing during travel, outings, or any transition-heavy time:
🎧 Headphones + favorite music or audiobook
📅 Mini visual schedule or calendar (helpful on vacation!)
🖼 Photos of loved ones to help shift mood before the meltdown
🧸 Comfort items: fidgets, stuffies, weighted snuggies
🧩 Quiet activities: puzzles, coloring books, sticker packs
🍿 Snacks and cold drinks – hydration and blood sugar matter
❄️ Planned cool-down breaks—ND kids often overheat faster
🛞 Mobility support: bring the wagon, stroller, or jogger—whatever works
Expecting a child to handle a 10-hour amusement park or beach day without built-in rest is a recipe for disaster. Make comfort and pacing part of the plan.
👩👧👦 Lived Experience: Planning for the Family You Actually Have
My kids hate fireworks.
They hate parades.
Even as teens and young adults, those events feel like a full-on sensory assault.
Most people can't understand their adverse reaction because, for most, those experiences are enjoyable. But for my family? They're overwhelming, dysregulating, and deeply unpleasant.
I had to shift my thinking:
Why would I expose someone I love to something that causes them obvious distress?
It matters more to me that we can enjoy time together without needing recovery or damage control afterward.
🧠 How I've Learned to Plan Differently
As a solo parent of neurospicy kiddos, here's what I've learned to do:
✅ Make Plans A, B, C, and D
✅ Bring another adult when possible
✅ Plan to split up if needed
✅ Tackle long lines or stimulating experiences early, before it's too hot
✅ Take extra-long lunches in cool, quiet places to regroup
✅ Be OK with sitting something out
✅ Bring the wagon or jogger—whatever allows for rest and relief on the go
And when we did take on bigger days—like amusement parks or long beach outings—it was always with other adults and families who understood our reality. I had honest conversations upfront about my family's needs so we could create a flexible plan that worked for everyone. Sometimes, that meant I had to bow out of the group plan. Sometimes we met up later. Sometimes the best part of the day was sitting on a bench, sipping cold water, watching people go by with my kiddo beside me.
🌈 What Really Matters
Not everything has to be a highlight reel.
Sometimes the win is:
✔ No meltdown
✔ Everyone is fed and hydrated
✔ One moment of connection
If that's all you did today? That's enough.
💬 Final Thought
Accept the child you have.
Build your plans around them, not around someone else's expectations.
You are not failing when you adapt—you are loving bravely and wisely.
You've got this. And I'm walking with you. 💛
Kate
